Always Prepared

As I consider life, what's happened and how I'm perceiving things, I am in awe. I just have to tell you about what God has been doing in our lives, and how our faith continues to grow stronger and stronger. I am so EXCITED by what I see Him doing, and I pray that you too can see Him work in your life.

Walk in HIS will, and you will never be unprepared.

This is a truth I have discovered this year. As I spend last summer w.a.i.t.i.n.g. for a plan, a job, and a life he was preparing me for a very BUSY year of teaching kindergarten and internally growing a child. He knew I needed to be able to cling to him only as my identity instead of a job or title. I had to learn to be "Jennifer, daughter of the King of Kings" instead of any other earthly title. It was an incredibly grueling year of learning the endless list of acronyms in the Hawaii Department of Education (HIDOE) (don't believe me? Click here, seriously, take a look), figuring out how to piece together broken curriculum to match the new state standards, learning about the intricacies of a kindergartners development, and communicating clearly with co-teachers and parents. I LOVED it. I was incredibly fulfilled, and never once questioned whether or not I was in the right place. Yes, I questioned whether I'd make it through the year, but I KNEW I was doing exactly what I was born to do.

Then, the scene abruptly changed with the birth of Micah. I didn't slow down much during my pregnancy, so to suddenly be mainly housebound for a month with a newborn, I felt like I had just switched lives with someone.

Again, I see how the Lord prepared me for a smooth transition into motherhood. I've loved babies and children and worked with them for my whole life. To go from 23 kiddos under my watch, to one precious part of me and my husband, I felt like I was on vacation! Just to hold my sweet baby and watch him sleep was the most joyful and fulfilling experience of my life so far. When I would wake to feed him during the night, I was deliriously filled with bubbling happiness knowing that right then, right there, he was my only concern and responsibility, and that is what I had been made for.

When I married Jonathan, I would constantly tell him how happy I was to be married to him, I felt such joy in the wonder of where we were in life. While I continue to tell him this (the bliss has never waned), I get to add my pleasure of being a mother to that little habit. Having babies is definitely a marital upgrade :) I am falling deeper in love with the man I married as I watch him talk to, read, change, and play with our baby boy while working to provide for our family in such a determined and steady manner. To see such a ferocious tenderness rolled into one is the most beautiful and intoxicating sight I've every personally witnessed.

Throughout the past year, I can clearly see in all the changes that have come that God has extravagantly prepared us in every way for each new step. I was so incredibly humbled by each person that gave to help prepare the world and our home for Micah. The Holy Spirit clearly told me one day that Jesus LOVES children SO MUCH that he will always make sure the way is made ready for their entrance into the world, and so the birth of son was heralded by generosity and love from around the globe. He is SUCH a GOOD Father.

As I've watch all these things unfold, I have been given a gift. I have been given an explainable peace in God's timing and perfect provision, even when things go awry, because, OH, even as smooth as the things I've mentioned seem like they've been, a WHOLE mess of things were not going the way I wanted them to.

It has been the messy times that try my patience that make me stronger to prepare me for the next phase of life. After it's over, I can then see God's hand in it all.

I've witnessed this process so many times, I'm beginning to get excited about life's challenges, because it's in those times that I witness miracles in my personal life. The miracle of myself letting go of my control and comfort, and leaning into the Holy Spirit harder than I have before. I still say this, because it's true. The peace and joy I consistently find in my life is worth every bit of "uncertainty" I see in my life.