2014. What a year it's already become. It seems to be sending me barreling down the highway of life at a breakneck speed I can't control.
Earlier this month, I celebrated my 25th birthday. Guess God figured I should have at least a quarter of century under my belt before I got too cocky thinking I could attempt to raise a human being. Here's the weird thing I realized this year..it's been slowly dawning on me each passing year since about the time I turned 21. I don't like birthdays. Well, I like everyone else's birthdays, but I don't like mine. For one, I feel there to be some unspoken expectation about how that particular day is supposed to go that makes me feel definitely insecure. I certainly would label myself as being quite secure and generally unruffled in life, but it's this quirky mixture of celebration and uncertainty that put my feet on uneven platforms. Nevertheless, my family did their best to show me love and celebrate my life and it did not go unappreciated :) How do you feel about your birthday?
This being my first go around with pregnancy, it's been so surreal to take every new experience in. I've discovered quickly that it's not the way I imagined it would be, but it's been way worse and way better than they told me.
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| The first sneak peek we got of our baby's face at 26 weeks. I am smitten. |
It started off pretty rocky, I'm not gonna lie. In the first 12 weeks, it seemed baby was cleansing my entire system from my pre-pregnancy life, causing me to eat like a teenage boy, and driving me to the pillow anytime I knew one was close in proximity. Learning how to teach a new grade level/species of child (aka kindergartners) in a new school system (public education after I have been bred and raised in the private Christian sector) threw me for quite an emotional and energy zapping loop as well.
But GLORY BE! The second trimester brought with a (more) contented stomach, energy to do a few chores in the evening, and a later bedtime (hello 10:00!).
Now that I'm in my final trimester, I am feeling much more like myself.. trouble is, I'm about 30 pounds heavier...and my school campus is built on a steep hill that includes LOTS of stairs. If I ever needed a taste of an overweight lifestyle to keep me from getting lazy, boy, have I tasted all I want! Everyday as I walk from the cafeteria at the bottom of campus to my classroom at the top (around 4-5 times daily) I breathe thanksgiving for the temporary nature of my "condition." I am SO THANKFUL for the energy I have :)
Everyday that passes brings me one day closer to meeting the new little man in my life. The anticipation is the most precious and sweet feeling I've ever known.
It truly has been the most wondrous journey I've ever known, and honestly, I'm already getting excited for the next few journeys I'll have a little later in life.
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| Sunset view we enjoyed driving home from my school earlier this month. |
This is to be a year of contentment for me. With all the craziness and uncertainty last year brought, I realized that I continually looked forward to a better more "stable" life. However, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I have no security or stability in life beyond the security He gives me for simply trusting in Him and walking in the center of His will. That is a fact in which I can rest so soundly. He orders my steps so perfectly, and I continue to be blown away by the way he is providing for the mister and me as we prepare to become parents. I know that He is waiting to provide for you as well! Just open your hands and keep them ready and available for anything He gives. It will ALWAYS be better than you imagined :)
Blessings and much love to you.
