My favorite time to blog is when I've just heard the Lord speak to me about things for which I've been praying. I love the enthusiasm that I feel in my heart and through my fingers as I type, and I hope that what the Lord has shared with me might encourage someone else.
I look at wedding pictures of myself, and see so clearly how everything up to that point in my life was a result of how I had planned my life. I see my smile and think you thought you had everything figured out... but I really had no idea. In middle school, I set the goal for myself to become a teacher. In moving to Florida for my education, I told my mom that I would find my husband there. And I did both of those things exactly. My life had been predetermined in my mind, and there had been few surprises. But then I graduated and got married...
In taking the step of faith back in August of 2012 to move here, we did so with absolutely no plans of our own; only vague ideas of things that could potentially happen. Being the woman with a plan, It was probably the most irrational mega-decision I've ever eagerly made. It was also the best thing I've done since marrying my Mr. Wonderful. I stand here today a woman that has seen the hand of God do things on my behalf that defy logic or what nature usually dictates. I have felt the love of Jesus change my heart and perspective so gently and beautifully. I have received peace about unresolved "things" that normally I would stew for weeks about. I have been greatly encouraged through the most discouraging situations because of the Holy Spirit's constant witness to the glory of God in my life. Was it worth the jump off the edge of "safety?"
Absolutely.
Since the day we boarded that plane for the Jewel of the Pacific, I still have no plan of my own. And (I can't believe I'm typing this, but...) I hope I never do again. When I have no plan, I see the need to run to my Father and get His Plan for my life. He promises his beloved that if I will delight in Him that He will grant me the desires of my heart (Ps. 37:4), and I can look back and see the seeds of desire that He planted in my heart.
On February 26 of this year in the final weeks of living in India, I wrote in my journal , "Never do I want to live in a way that is explainable because of my own work--while I word as hard as I can with what He gives me."
This bold proclamation was a desire that the Lord planted in my heart because of the delight I found in Him. I have tasted the reward of the difficult seeking out of His will and plan, and it is far sweeter and longer lasting than any goal I have attained of my own crafting. Somehow He has given me this beautiful perspective while I'm still so young! I know I have so much more to learn and room to trust Him, but this morning He has given me fresh eyes for what He is doing around me.
As I Corinthians 2:5 says, I am so thankful that my faith does not rest in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. I also have seen that the miracles I see in my life are an indicator of the level of faith I have in the power of God. Do I want to see impossible things happen? Or do I want to be able to rationally reason everything out because of what I have done for myself? The real question is: how much room am I giving God to move in my life?
Recently, well actually, all year--I've been praying about something that is a huge part of my daily life that I feel I have had no control over. It's not something weird or abnormal, but just something that I've been waiting to see how the Lord was going work out. It has definitely been a source of anxiety, frustration, and cause for feeling helpless for myself. Last night, as I was praying and journaling it became apparent why I felt all those things. I saw clearly that those things are feelings. BUT my faith is NOT dictated by the way I feel. My faith is dictated by who my God is. I was refreshed with the glorious picture of who my God is.
I look at wedding pictures of myself, and see so clearly how everything up to that point in my life was a result of how I had planned my life. I see my smile and think you thought you had everything figured out... but I really had no idea. In middle school, I set the goal for myself to become a teacher. In moving to Florida for my education, I told my mom that I would find my husband there. And I did both of those things exactly. My life had been predetermined in my mind, and there had been few surprises. But then I graduated and got married...
In taking the step of faith back in August of 2012 to move here, we did so with absolutely no plans of our own; only vague ideas of things that could potentially happen. Being the woman with a plan, It was probably the most irrational mega-decision I've ever eagerly made. It was also the best thing I've done since marrying my Mr. Wonderful. I stand here today a woman that has seen the hand of God do things on my behalf that defy logic or what nature usually dictates. I have felt the love of Jesus change my heart and perspective so gently and beautifully. I have received peace about unresolved "things" that normally I would stew for weeks about. I have been greatly encouraged through the most discouraging situations because of the Holy Spirit's constant witness to the glory of God in my life. Was it worth the jump off the edge of "safety?"
Absolutely.
Since the day we boarded that plane for the Jewel of the Pacific, I still have no plan of my own. And (I can't believe I'm typing this, but...) I hope I never do again. When I have no plan, I see the need to run to my Father and get His Plan for my life. He promises his beloved that if I will delight in Him that He will grant me the desires of my heart (Ps. 37:4), and I can look back and see the seeds of desire that He planted in my heart.
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| Scribbles from Chitradurga to remember His Character |
This bold proclamation was a desire that the Lord planted in my heart because of the delight I found in Him. I have tasted the reward of the difficult seeking out of His will and plan, and it is far sweeter and longer lasting than any goal I have attained of my own crafting. Somehow He has given me this beautiful perspective while I'm still so young! I know I have so much more to learn and room to trust Him, but this morning He has given me fresh eyes for what He is doing around me.
As I Corinthians 2:5 says, I am so thankful that my faith does not rest in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. I also have seen that the miracles I see in my life are an indicator of the level of faith I have in the power of God. Do I want to see impossible things happen? Or do I want to be able to rationally reason everything out because of what I have done for myself? The real question is: how much room am I giving God to move in my life?
Recently, well actually, all year--I've been praying about something that is a huge part of my daily life that I feel I have had no control over. It's not something weird or abnormal, but just something that I've been waiting to see how the Lord was going work out. It has definitely been a source of anxiety, frustration, and cause for feeling helpless for myself. Last night, as I was praying and journaling it became apparent why I felt all those things. I saw clearly that those things are feelings. BUT my faith is NOT dictated by the way I feel. My faith is dictated by who my God is. I was refreshed with the glorious picture of who my God is.
- He is my loving Father
- He is all knowing of my past, present, and future
- He is all present
- He is all powerful
- He has plans for me to prosper
- He has a much greater desire for me to know Him and see Him move, than I could ever have for myself
It was in that picture that suddenly I had peace. Peace that this scenario would work out to prove more of His incredible love for me.
What a powerful post! Thank you so much. Your faith is an inspiration to me.
ReplyDeleteLove you!