So now our little family equaled five.
Jonathan and I love each other fiercely.
We still would love to welcome more into our home, HOWEVER I was still scared to death about getting pregnant because of the rocky roads I've seen those journeys take.
Since we took our first married steps of faith, we both have felt challenged to put the timing and amount of children into our Heavenly Father's hands. It's too great a burden for me to bear thinking about all the eternal ramifications of denying life to (or not to) happen. I do believe children are one of the greatest blessings we can receive from heaven.
The thing is, now I am very well acquainted with some of the challenges associated with the whole process. The rose colored glasses are now officially off.
A friend of mine became miraculously pregnant after years of being told it couldn't happen. I was genuinely overjoyed for her, but pretty much all I could think and say was, "I'm so glad it's you and not me."
Did I still have faith to believe I could trust God with this whole part of our life?
One day, Mom asked me to pull out a book she needed to use for a class, called Joy Starts Here. She had raved about this book, but I just didn't get it. I had read it, but it just never really connected to my life. So when I pulled it off the shelf, I wanted to take one more look to see if I could find just one reason this was a helpful book.
Flipping through the first half that was liberally highlighted from my reading a few years ago, nothing stood out to me. I went to the last part of the book where the highlighting tapered off and started reading an anecdote about a couple that had experienced a very traumatic delivery of their first born. The father said that in that moment, fear and hopelessness crowded in on him, and the desire to NEVER see his wife go through that experience again. He did not feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in that moment.
Suddenly, I saw myself for who I was. Afraid, feeling alone, doubting, and relying on only my strength. I had NOT been looking for Jesus in any of this, I had been trying to figure out how to do it myself.
Suddenly, I knew what I needed to do to be free from this fear. I had been believing a lie, and had been living the consequences. It was time for change.
I want to share the process I went through and how I was able to completely embrace the future without any fear. Click here to read how I found freedom!
Jonathan and I love each other fiercely.
We still would love to welcome more into our home, HOWEVER I was still scared to death about getting pregnant because of the rocky roads I've seen those journeys take.
Since we took our first married steps of faith, we both have felt challenged to put the timing and amount of children into our Heavenly Father's hands. It's too great a burden for me to bear thinking about all the eternal ramifications of denying life to (or not to) happen. I do believe children are one of the greatest blessings we can receive from heaven.
The thing is, now I am very well acquainted with some of the challenges associated with the whole process. The rose colored glasses are now officially off.
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| Debra’s beautiful faithfulness and grace is such an encouragement to me |
A friend of mine became miraculously pregnant after years of being told it couldn't happen. I was genuinely overjoyed for her, but pretty much all I could think and say was, "I'm so glad it's you and not me."
Did I still have faith to believe I could trust God with this whole part of our life?
One day, Mom asked me to pull out a book she needed to use for a class, called Joy Starts Here. She had raved about this book, but I just didn't get it. I had read it, but it just never really connected to my life. So when I pulled it off the shelf, I wanted to take one more look to see if I could find just one reason this was a helpful book.
Flipping through the first half that was liberally highlighted from my reading a few years ago, nothing stood out to me. I went to the last part of the book where the highlighting tapered off and started reading an anecdote about a couple that had experienced a very traumatic delivery of their first born. The father said that in that moment, fear and hopelessness crowded in on him, and the desire to NEVER see his wife go through that experience again. He did not feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in that moment.
Suddenly, I saw myself for who I was. Afraid, feeling alone, doubting, and relying on only my strength. I had NOT been looking for Jesus in any of this, I had been trying to figure out how to do it myself.
This Emmanuel (God with us) presence that PROMISES me "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” in Hebrews 13:5, was something that I had neglected to even look for. My eyes had been glued onto my worst fears and failures rather than taking comfort in THE COMFORTER.
Jesus says in John 14:16, "I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may be with you for ever.'
(Please just go read the whole chapter of John 14... SO MUCH GOODNESS there!)
Suddenly, I knew what I needed to do to be free from this fear. I had been believing a lie, and had been living the consequences. It was time for change.
I want to share the process I went through and how I was able to completely embrace the future without any fear. Click here to read how I found freedom!
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