Thoughts from Maternity Life

2014. What a year it's already become. It seems to be sending me barreling down the highway of life at a breakneck speed I can't control.

Earlier this month, I celebrated my 25th birthday. Guess God figured I should have at least a quarter of century under my belt before I got too cocky thinking I could attempt to raise a human being. Here's the weird thing I realized this year..it's been slowly dawning on me each passing year since about the time I turned 21. I don't like birthdays. Well, I like everyone else's birthdays, but I don't like mine. For one, I feel there to be some unspoken expectation about how that particular day is supposed to go that makes me feel definitely insecure. I certainly would label myself as being quite secure and generally unruffled in life, but it's this quirky mixture of celebration and uncertainty that put my feet on uneven platforms. Nevertheless, my family did their best to show me love and celebrate my life and it did not go unappreciated :) How do you feel about your birthday?

This being my first go around with pregnancy, it's been so surreal to take every new experience in. I've discovered quickly that it's not the way I imagined it would be, but it's been way worse and way better than they told me. 

The first sneak peek we got of our baby's face at 26 weeks.
I am smitten. 

It started off pretty rocky, I'm not gonna lie. In the first 12 weeks, it seemed baby was cleansing my entire system from my pre-pregnancy life, causing me to eat like a teenage boy, and driving me to the pillow anytime I knew one was close in proximity. Learning how to teach a new grade level/species of child (aka kindergartners) in a new school system (public education after I have been bred and raised in the private Christian sector) threw me for quite an emotional and energy zapping loop as well. 

But GLORY BE! The second trimester brought with a (more) contented stomach, energy to do a few chores in the evening, and a later bedtime (hello 10:00!).

Now that I'm in my final trimester, I am feeling much more like myself.. trouble is, I'm about 30 pounds heavier...and my school campus is built on a steep hill that includes LOTS of stairs. If I ever needed a taste of an overweight lifestyle to keep me from getting lazy, boy, have I tasted all I want! Everyday as I walk from the cafeteria at the bottom of campus to my classroom at the top (around 4-5 times daily) I breathe thanksgiving for the temporary nature of my "condition." I am SO THANKFUL for the energy I have :)

Everyday that passes brings me one day closer to meeting the new little man in my life. The anticipation is the most precious and sweet feeling I've ever known.

It truly has been the most wondrous journey I've ever known, and honestly, I'm already getting excited for the next few journeys I'll have a little later in life.

Sunset view we enjoyed driving home from
my school earlier this month.

This is to be a year of contentment for me. With all the craziness and uncertainty last year brought, I realized that I continually looked forward to a better more "stable" life. However, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I have no security or stability in life beyond the security He gives me for simply trusting in Him and walking in the center of His will. That is a fact in which I can rest so soundly. He orders my steps so perfectly, and I continue to be blown away by the way he is providing for the mister and me as we prepare to become parents. I know that He is waiting to provide for you as well! Just open your hands and keep them ready and available for anything He gives. It will ALWAYS be better than you imagined :)

Blessings and much love to you.

Christmastime with Family

Christmastime this year was such an answer to my prayers. We haven't been able to see Jonathan's side of the family for a couple years, so I really was hoping and praying that it could be possible to see them this year. God is so good, and gave us such a precious time together. For the first time in many months, I was able to de-stress from the constant feeling of needing to do more for my job, and completely relax with my in laws.  I have to say how absolutely blessed I am to have such an amazing and beautiful "in law" family. You never really know the family you are marrying until the deed is done, and I am so blessed with the family into which I married.

The first night home, we got to share our discovery of the gender of Baby Freeman. I'm so glad we waited to do it this way too. Sharing that moment with them was absolutely priceless :) Here's a little video of the big moment :)

It was fun to be in the cold for a bit while we were there. We enjoyed getting bundled up to explore the frozen pond with the nephews and the land around my sister-in-law's house.

 On Christmas Eve, we had a family share time. The kids got to perform songs and quote scripture and the adults got to share what God has been doing in our lives. It was such a sweet time of thanksgiving and remembering the true meaning of Christmas.

The day after Christmas, the mister, me, and his parents took the 12 hour drive from Indiana to Kansas to spend some time with his Grandpa Russell. He celebrated his 89th birthday while we were there. We shared with him the news of his next great grandchild being named after him.

 


While we were there, we were able to sort through boxes of our belongings we shipped back in 2012 before we moved to the Island. I have to say, it was just like Christmas morning all over again to see our stuff and even more of a miracle that it survived the shipping process! We picked out a few "essential" box loads to bring back with us to stock our home with.

We hope you had a wonderful Christmas season, and started the New Year with hope in your heart! Much love from us to you!

Christmas Letter 2013

Dear Family and Friends,

It is with a full heart and great hope for the New Year that we write you. We have seen Jesus moving mightily both in our midst and in our world giving us faith for what He will continue to do.

Early this year, we had the privilege of ministering to the people of Karnataka, India. Traveling to the more

remote places in the southern part of India, we prayed and watched the Lord heal the deaf, give health to the sick, and give hope and joy to prostitutes, homeless, and the destitute. Our faith was greatly increased as we met orphanage directors and heard the jubilant stories from the mouths of their orphans of how the Lord had directly provided food, shelter, and clothing for them.

In the spring, Jonathan felt the Lord leading him to continue missionary work in computer technology in a group called Christ Revealed on World Networks (CROWN), and Jennifer to work at The Learning Center, a school for missionary children in Kona, Hawaii. We both jumped into the new world of full-time unpaid missions work believing that the Lord would speak to our friends and family to give to support us in ministry. We have been surprised at how the Lord has provided and cared for us, and seen the fruit this sifting process has borne in our own lives.

As a new school year drew near, it became clear that Jennifer was to take a position at a local elementary school as a kindergarten teacher, and so began her first full year as a teacher. Almost simultaneously, we discovered the exciting news of our first child's entrance onto the scene of our lives!

This November, Jonathan took a trip to Seoul, Korea for an IT Missions conference with CROWN. There

they cast the vision for computer missionaries and the need for more work (and workers) in this area to claim territory for the Kingdom of God in technology. As Korea has such a strong Christian base, they met with leaders in Christian technology using TV, radio,

As we look forward to the next year, we see many wonderful changes coming with our new roles as parents with the Baby’s arrival in April. Jonathan is currently seeking paid work as Jennifer will not be working full time in the next school year as to take on the role as mother. We are excited to be moving into our own apartment this January as we have been praying for the Lord’s provision in this for many months! His timing is perfect!

Please continue to pray for us as we follow the Holy Spirit's guidance. We pray that He will reveal Himself in a new way to you this year and that you would find His blessings bountiful.

With much love,

Jonathan & Jennifer

Writing with Fresh Eyes

My favorite time to blog is when I've just heard the Lord speak to me about things for which I've been praying. I love the enthusiasm that I feel in my heart and through my fingers as I type, and I hope that what the Lord has shared with me might encourage someone else.

I look at wedding pictures of myself, and see so clearly how everything up to that point in my life was a result of how I had planned my life. I see my smile and think  you thought you had everything figured out... but I really had no idea. In middle school, I set the goal for myself to become a teacher. In moving to Florida for my education, I told my mom that I would find my husband there. And I did both of those things exactly. My life had been predetermined in my mind, and there had been few surprises. But then I graduated and got married...

In taking the step of faith back in August of 2012 to move here, we did so with absolutely no plans of our own; only vague ideas of things that could potentially happen. Being the woman with a plan, It was probably the most irrational mega-decision I've ever eagerly made. It was also the best thing I've done since marrying my Mr. Wonderful. I stand here today a woman that has seen the hand of God do things on my behalf that defy logic or what nature usually dictates. I have felt the love of Jesus change my heart and perspective so gently and beautifully. I have received peace about unresolved "things" that normally I would stew for weeks about. I have been greatly encouraged through the most discouraging situations because of the Holy Spirit's constant witness to the glory of God in my life. Was it worth the jump off the edge of "safety?"

Absolutely.

Since the day we boarded that plane for the Jewel of the Pacific, I still have no plan of my own. And (I can't believe I'm typing this, but...) I hope I never do again. When I have no plan, I see the need to run to my Father and get His Plan for my life. He promises his beloved that if I will delight in Him that He will grant me the desires of my heart (Ps. 37:4), and I can look back and see the seeds of desire that He planted in my heart.

Scribbles from Chitradurga to remember His Character

On February 26 of this year in the final weeks of living in India, I wrote in my journal , "Never do I want to live in a way that is explainable because of my own work--while I word as hard as I can with what He gives me."

This bold proclamation was a desire that the Lord planted in my heart because of the delight I found in Him. I have tasted the reward of the difficult seeking out of His will and plan, and it is far sweeter and longer lasting than any goal I have attained of my own crafting. Somehow He has given me this beautiful perspective while I'm still so young! I know I have so much more to learn and room to trust Him, but this morning He has given me fresh eyes for what He is doing around me.

As I Corinthians 2:5 says, I am so thankful that my faith does not rest in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. I also have seen that the miracles I see in my life are an indicator of the level of faith I have in the power of God. Do I want to see impossible things happen? Or do I want to be able to rationally reason everything out because of what I have done for myself? The real question is: how much room am I giving God to move in my life?

Recently, well actually, all year--I've been praying about something that is a huge part of my daily life that I feel I have had no control over. It's not something weird or abnormal, but just something that I've been waiting to see how the Lord was going work out. It has definitely been a source of anxiety, frustration, and cause for feeling helpless for myself. Last night, as I was praying and journaling it became apparent why I felt all those things. I saw clearly that those things are feelings. BUT my faith is NOT dictated by the way I feel. My faith is dictated by who my God is. I was refreshed with the glorious picture of who my God is.

• He is my loving Father
• He is all knowing of my past, present, and future
• He is all present 
• He is all powerful
• He has plans for me to prosper
• He has a much greater desire for me to know Him and see Him move, than I could ever have for myself

It was in that picture that suddenly I had peace. Peace that this scenario would work out to prove more of His incredible love for me.

So I pray for you, dear reader, that you would receive fresh eyes to view your circumstances with Faith because of Who God is, rather than the feelings of the moment.

Cultural Treats

Life can never be called boring around here, that's for sure! In the past few months my parents have been renting out the 3rd room in the condo to a Brazilian missionary named Ricky. He has been working with a fascinating ministry on the missions base called "Uniscript," translating Hebrew into the Uniscript code while he has been here the last year or so.

To roughly sum up what that means, Uniscript, in conjunction with the University of Hawaii, has cracked the

code on the sounds every language makes and put it into written form so that anyone of any language can become literate in their language within a few weeks. For example: based on the symbol you see printed, you make a certain sound with your mouth. When the sounds are combined they make up words. They have even tested dyslexic school children in California schools and have found this to be an effective way to teach them how to read.

Ricky is a very well traveled missionary and his background is anthropological studies . He has spent time in Germany, and now after his time here in Hawaii, he is going back home to Brazil to prepare for a year in Taiwan.

As he is leaving in the next few weeks, we celebrated his culture last night by feasting on Brazilian fair. He made a creamy shrimp dish, seasoned rice with shredded carrots, pureed sweet potato (normally it would be pumpkin, but sweet potatoes were a good substitute), and garlic potato chips. He proved to be quite the "professional" cook, as he would say. 

It was absolutely delish and so fun to taste food from another culture right here at home! This is for sure something that I would try making again on my own.

Thank you, Ricky!

Man of Courage

I would like to honor the most important human in my life in this blog post. This individual just recently celebrated his 30th birthday (even though you'd never guess looking at him :). It might get a little bit sentimental and mushy, but you've been warned now, so no complaining! :-P

When someone in your life repeatedly makes decisions that show remarkable faith and trust in an unseen person while maintaining peace and confidence in life despite obvious uncertainty, it makes you stop and think about the attitudes harbored and choices you yourself make.

I've had the unique privilege and joy of living with and being married to a man just as I've described.

The man I call my husband is unparalleled in integrity and character in every part of his life. He is a true gentleman and the guardian of my heart.

Considering how blind and naive I was (or anyone else is for that matter) when I agreed to marry this man, I can clearly see how the Holy Spirit lead us directly and surely towards each other knowing how rich our lives would become when our worlds combined and took off in a new direction.

So now this boy-crush turned husband of mine now prepares to be a father. Honestly, I married him largely because of my confidence in his ability to be a good father figure (and his dashing good looks*smirk*). Somehow, he has continued to bolster my confidence in his God given ability, and I won't deny my daydreams involving him and our sweet babies.

 He is truly sublime.

Early morning birthday cards and gifts

Such a good sport wearing my makeshift paper-lei
turned crown haha

Reese's Cups Ice Cream blizzard cake
at the request of the birthday-man ;)

Preparing for Parenthood| Vol. #1: My Training in Kinder-land

I find it so interesting that God gave me a kindergarten class the year he's giving me our first child. Getting a chance to peak into the minds of 23 five and six-year olds has been the most exhilarating, frustrating, and enlightening call to beg the Lord to fill me with more of the Holy Spirit and open my eyes to His presence everywhere I go.

I've been humbled time and time again and I hit the limits of my own patience and knowledge and mentally begin pounding on the door Christ asks us to knock on when we need Him. I realized that the raw frustration I feel with my students lack of good judgement is simply a sinful anger that wells up in me because of the lack of patience I have on my own. If patience (and love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, perseverance, and self-control) is a fruit of the spirit  then shouldn't I have 24/7 access to copious amounts of this wonderful thing if the Spirit is with me always? So I pray for patience. Every. Day. And let me tell you, I feel him literally douse me with a bucket of peace and patience at the most unlikely times in our little classroom (ie: children break-dancing on the classroom rug, or one love-bug single-handedly displaying his temper by upsetting each and every chair in the room) giving me the ability to sing out directions cheerfully or quietly discuss better alternatives for behavior instead of screaming in rage and doing something really stupid..

I've been humbled when I reflect on my classroom management/discipline plans (over and over and over and over again) and realize that what these babies need is a display of unusual grace and love coming from the only adult in the room to understand why it's important to respect their neighbor. It's in those moments that I get just a glimpse of the love and grace God shows me when he lets me start afresh with each and every decision I get to make without holding my past mistakes and grievances against me.

My prayer and desire of my heart as I prepare to raise a little person of my own flesh and blood is that I would show patience, love, grace, and trust as they grow in their personal knowledge and intimacy with Jesus. I am so blessed to see how the Holy Spirit always supplies what I ask for and what I need, and blessed to have this beautiful first hand experience as I walk into motherhood.